Honest and Open

I'm sitting here in tears right now because I'm so frustrated!! My last weigh in was May 25 at 260.2. I have not weighed in consistantly and as of yesterday, my weight is up to 262. Since, my last weigh in I have been up and down 5 pounds. I hate it. Not, that I think it should be any different.

I have read two blogs today that hit it on the head. Both blogs have had a great sucess of losing a lot of weight. One, has kept off 150 pounds for over 12 years. The other, still trying to lose that last bit to get to his goal. They both really struck me today. First, knowing I'm not alone and facing reality of what one of my big problems are? I've got to figure this out to move forward right?

I read Diane's post about what I'm currently going through regards to weight loss. She talks about a 5 pound yo-yo cycle. She said, "If you find yourself in the 5 pound yo-yo cycle, know that it doesn’t have to stay that way forever." Here are some reasons why you may be there. She mentioned five, but here are the ones I know are happening right now. (My emphasis).

• "You are becoming complacent. This isn’t bad, it happens to a lot of people – myself included. You’ve lost some weight and then find it hard to really keep things moving in the right direction. That is so true for me right now, but why?
  
  
• You feel some fear. This is very common and not often acknowledged. I’ve seen this a lot and it usually occurs close to the mid-point of the journey. It did for me too.
  
  
• You have stress in your life. I found that when things got stressful I would stop my forward progress and begin the mini yo-yo cycle. When the stress subsided often times the weight went on down."

I also read Sean's post about being consistent. He says, "Consistency is absolutely imperative along this road. It is the key to everything good here. It makes everything easier in time. If I had to pick one word to explain my success so far it would be: Consistency." I have not been consistent.

Some days I'm gung ho, others you wouldn't even know I'm trying to lose weight. I'm not binging, just not making healthy choices, not exercising, and skipping some meals, not drinking enough water. Sean also said, "Consistency means steamrolling every excuse or rationalization that comes along. When you really decide that nothing will stop you, then nothing can. "

I'm so thankful for inspiring people who are on this journey. Those posts are great and really resonated with me today. I want to be that inspiring, successful weight loss story! I want to be UNSTOPPABLE!

Weigh In Wednesday

Well, I'm back!! I'm a day late, but back. Not happy with my weigh in...but back. I'm not too discouraged because I was 4 pounds heavier last week! However, this is what not making yourself a priority looks like. I am up from my last posted weigh in. I know STRESS has a BIG part in the gain. It's time to move forward!

Man have I struggled with balance in my life since starting the long-term sub position. Between work and baseball four days a week...I can't seem to accomplish anything at home. Forget home cooked dinners lately! I get home around 4:00 and we are out of the house by 5:30. (Some nights we don't get home until 10:00.) Sure that sounds like enough time...and it is sometimes; however, I'm beat after being on my feet all day teaching 168 kids a week. Then there's piles of laundry, dishes, and homework to work on. How do working mom's with kiddos do it? Really, I need tips. I've never been a working mom (away from home) before until this last school year.

Progress:

This week I mentally prepared myself to let go of the sugar. I did forgo my nephew's birthday cake last night...even though it was very tempting. I wasn't perfect; I had some dark chocolate this past week, but that's okay. Another huge thing that has helped me is my mom. She wanted to help me get jumped started again on losing weight, and in turn help herself. She has made my lunch for me every day this week. It has been wonderful and delicious!! It beats the school lunches or running to subway or gasp...Sonic. (Our only 2 fast food places in our small town.) I cannot tell you how grateful I am that she has done this for me. I have had a green smoothie for breakfast too.

I'm trying to focus on what has helped me in the past, and I'm trying to make those things a priority again! I'm hanging on to the knowledge of only 17 more days of school. I'm really looking forward to time at home with my family and really focusing on losing weight.

Until then, I will press on.

Sink or Swim?

Wow, it's been 80 plus days since I've updated anything. My blog says so! My does time fly. I've missed you all in blog land the past 3 months. While I wish I could say I've lost 30 more pounds, it just isn't true. I slowly picked up a few former habits and well, I have gained a few pounds over the holidays. I plan on getting back to regular weigh-ins on Wednesday.

Here is a song by Tyrone Wells that really got me thinking about my weight loss journey. If you want to hear the song it is on my MP-3 player. I've lost my balance...trying to figure out what to do.....I know what I have to do! Now just wrapping my mind around it and pressing forward is what I will do.

Sink or Swim

Caught in the middle of a crossfire
Lost my balance on a high wire
Trying to figure out what to do

Pushed to the edge of my reason
Everywhere around me it's treason
I don't want to do that to you

Kamikaze airplanes in the sky
Are we going down or will we fly?
This could be a shipwreck on the shore
Or we could sail away forevermore
This time it's sink or swim, sink or swim

Hearing the song in your laughter
A melody I chase after
No one else has done this to me

Kamikaze airplanes in the sky
Are we going down or will we fly?
This could be a shipwreck on the shore
Or we could sail away forevermore
This time it's sink or swim, sink or swim

Take a deep breath
No more time left
This is what I thought I wanted
Why am I afraid?

Kamikaze airplanes in the sky
Are we going down or will we fly?
This could be a shipwreck on the shore
Or we could sail away forevermore

Kamikaze airplanes in the sky
Are we going down or will we fly?
This could be a shipwreck on the shore
Or we could sail away forevermore
This time it's sink or swim, sink or swim

Are you going to SINK or SWIM?

Anyone out there? chirp...chirp...

6 Days...Then This??

Well if you have been following along this past week you will have noticed one thing. I challenged myself to work out at least 20 minutes, six days last week! I blogged on the exercise I did for the previous days. I made it!! Woohoo!

After all the exercising....here are the results for the weigh in. I told you I'd pray things were not as bad as the 4 pound gain I had noticed the previous two days. Well, it's not as bad...it's worse! I gained 4.6 pounds this week! Yep, that's right. I know it's my time of month. I usually gain during that time. However, why did the extra exercise not counteract a gain?? What happened? Any insight will be appreciated.

Unfortunately, my hubby informed me I usual gain weight when I start exercising. I don't really recall that. My sister always does! However, he recalls it and told me that is a big reason I give up! I do know I worked my behind off for two years, a while back, exercising hard, two hours a day. I only lost 10 pounds in those two years! Nope, not kidding! I was in pretty good shape though. I remember one night laying in bed I felt something in my hip area. I was concerned. "Honey, what is this? Feel? It was my pelvic bone sticking up! I was so excited! I also would lift my legs up in the bed and feel the muscles on my hamstrings. The back fat disappeared. But I was not happy with the scale not budging. Only when I quit exercising did I realize how much my body had changed. It's amazing how quick the back fat came back! How quick I lost muscle.

Even though I was more fit, lost inches (although not measuring)...I quit. I was so discouraged because here I was obese and was told the weight will fall off of me. It didn't. Why is that? I don't want that to happen again.

Why can others lose so consistently and never show a gain? I know I shouldn't compare myself, but it is hard. Last week I had lost the most weight I had ever lost in my entire life...37 pounds! It does not come off of me easily! But boy does it sure pile back on quick! I was less than four pounds away from my 20 pound goal and a new necklace. I was only seven pounds away from where I need to be to be able to get health insurance. Can you believe I cannot qualify for health insurance because of what I weigh? So real!

I'll be honest, I cried when I saw the scale. I had a pity party! But you know what I got my exercise in and I am trying to lean not on my own understanding. I will continue exercising. My goal for the month of August is to never let myself go more than two days in a row without exercising. My exercise calendar already looks better than all my previous months. I will keep it up!

I also know with all that people are going through that this is such a minor thing compared to others. How can I wallow around in self pity when: Jen, Prior Fat Girl tragically lost her mom, my good friend Tammy was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and baby Stellan, and on and on. Here is a new song I heard that helped me today to get out of my funk. The second song is one of my go to songs for this health journey I am on.








I'll be taking it one step at a time!

Can We Say Plateau?

Okay today is weigh in day and time to check in with my two challenges I am participating in. Yes, it is a 'challenge' for me to lose weight...anyone say amen!?

I lost .4 this week. I'm not thrilled. I should be glad I saw a loss, but come on. I want out of the 260's. I only have 10 days to lose 7 pounds to meet my 4Th of July goal. (I have lost a total of 13 pounds for this challenge.) Is that doable?? I'm not sure. I tend to be losing very slow. I have to remind myself slow and steady win the race!


This past week I started drinking 1/2 of my weight in water. I did this for three days in a row. The fourth day I was gone a lot and did not get in enough water...probably not even 64 oz. Well the fifth day I noticed my wedding ring was tight, my ankles were swollen, and my weight was up 4 pounds! I decided it was because I didn't drink enough water on day 4 and 5. I believe my body was holding on to the water because of the drastic increase in water then decrease? Anyone else experience this? I watched what I ate carefully, and I have exercised a little more this week.


What are your best tips to get the scale moving again? For the last three weeks I've been 260.4, 260.6, and now 260.2. Not moving down...even 1/2 of a pound.



Here are my stats for the

4th of July Challenge

&

FNF Challenge:

My NSV's for this week: My size 22 jeans are now loose on me in the waist. I just got rid of size 24's last week! So, I must be losing inches!

Day's Exercised: I exercised 3 times this week!

Inches Lost: I will be measuring myself monthly...July 3rd is my first comparison day.

This Week's Motivation: I really want to break out of the 260's FOREVER! I want to lose 7 pounds in 10 days to meet my 4th of July goal.

Weekly Summary: Ate well, increased exercise, got in lots more water.

Room for Improvement for next week: Continue eating well, drinking lots of water, and increase exercise again. Eat more fish, veggies, and fruit.

Pounds lost: -.4

Have a happy, healthy week!